Friday, June 19, 2009

Time to sweep the dust.

Not a lot of things have been happening.
Had a class outing yesterday at Sentosa.

Found out that all the volleyball courts are taken out due to some constructions.
and LOLed.
We still had great laughs that times.
I became a lobster.
Cooked halfway.
Red on the outside but still raw on the inside.
Went vivo city right after that.
It just made me recall everything.

From the arcade,
to the cinema.
It was then I realised.
I start to miss her.


Its been almost 4months.
4months since I first met her.
Thinking back the times.
It was some memorable times.
Really.

It was the first attempt on getting a girl number.
My first plan.
Everything was according to plan.
From,
writing the note secretly without anyone knowing,
to seeing her face to face.
Yet,
I did not even go up to her.
Instead, I timid away.
LOLed!

Reading back her convo with me.
Such happy times.
Quarreling.
Putting each other down.
How nice.

I wish this can go on.
=)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I think.
There is something wrong with me. Seriously.

Sometimes,
I would suddenly recall somethings that I am not even sure of.
After that,
I started feeling nausea.
Wanting to vomit.
A while later I feel okay again.

This is happening to me repeatedly.


Just what is happening to me?
These "unknown" thoughts suddenly flashed through.
Caused me to feel really uneasy.
REAL UNEASY!!


Even if I did tell my parents,
how am I going to explain?
I did not actually vomit.
I look fine.

Do I even need treatment in the first place?
Maybe I just lack of sleep these few days.

Off to bed.
Hope I will feel better..

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Unable to say why,
I have become very initiative.
If I fall in love with a person,
anything is worth to do.

True.

When you love someone,
you set them free.
When they love you,
they will come back on their own.

It may be true.
But,
I don't think it will happen.


Haven't been talking to her at all.
Maybe I stopped thinking about her.
Maybe I stopped wanting to talk to her.

But there is still a picture of her lingering in my head.
Now that I realized,
memories of the Taiwan trip,
are full of her.

Life's boring now.

Well,
at least,
at the very least,
She's my friend.
Thanks.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Don't wanna explain what happened.

Now I don't even know whether did I make a wrong move.
Wrong move in making that video.

I think I have only been pestering her all along.
She doesn't even feel a thing for me.

That video most probably did not touched her bit.
She most probably threw it away already.
Just hope that it made her smile.


Now I don't know how to proceed.
How to continue.

Its been 2 months since I first met her.
The memories still so clear.
Still so distinct.

Can someone just answer me,
Is life a matter of choices ? Or Is life pre-destined?
I have made a lot of decisions.
Can those decisions be changed last minute?
Or
Are they already fated to be made?

I need someone to enlighten me.
Anyone.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

I don't know what I did to make her ignore me.
I seriously have no idea.

Most probably she have already block and deleted me in msn.
Haven't seen her online for 3 days. Probably never will.

What more could I say.
Nothing but silence.

She must have a reason.
Whatever that is,
is it so hard to give a person another chance?

Maybe I did something terrible.
Maybe I did something to make her feel so irritated.
But in the end,
we are all human. Are we not?

Human makes mistake.
It is how the human correct him/herself that makes everyone different.
Human are emotional.
It is how we endure it and get on with life.

Now.
I am just left alone.
Left alone without saying anything.
Left alone without knowing what happened.

I have nothing to look forward to.
I only have badminton to console myself.
Lifting that shuttle.
Smashing that shuttle.
And the cycle repeats.

I suck.
Really.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

This is what happened.

On her day of her birthday,
I pass her a card, a disc and that piece of paper.
The disc contained a video made with my friends.

Now, 2 days later.
I haven't heard a thing about her.
Not a reply in sms.
Not online in msn.

I am ignored.

What could be the possible reason for this?
I have no idea.

Well, at least this time,
I did not regret giving her that.

Not sure what will this actually turns out to be.
Just when I thought this will turn out for the better.
I don't think I can do anything to change it.

I'm just sad.
Well sometimes,
you just don't see your effort pay off...

I appreciated my friends that helped. Thanks a lot.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Read back most of my previous blog.
Recalled a lot of happy times.
Even though some I can't seemed to remember.

____________________________________

One moment,
She's joking around with me, she's laughing with me.
The other moment,
She's cold and don't really care about me.
Or is it the other way round?


Maybe I should just leave it.
Leave it as it is.
But.
I feel so empty if I do that.
She have been occupying my heart, my mind,
since I seen her.
What am I suppose to do if I leave all this behind?

What is Life suppose to be?
What do I want in Life?
I think these questions,
will take me a long time to be able to get a definite answer.
Come to think of it,
what have I been living for ?
I don't know the answer.

Someone help me.
Please.